


The Rise of Arthur

by agapebeesu



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Adopted Children, Bromance, Camelot, Dragons, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Legends, Light Angst, Merlin Leaves Camelot (Merlin), Multi, Original Character(s), POV Original Female Character, Parent-Child Relationship, Queen Gwen (Merlin), Resurrection, Sad Merlin (Merlin), Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-27
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:01:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22926877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agapebeesu/pseuds/agapebeesu
Summary: "     Her father was not happy when she arrived back. He looked at her with those stern eyes, the incriminating crinkles. His hair was greying slightly, flashes of silver woven between the black."Stephana," he said, "how many times do I have to say this? You shouldn't sneak out at night.""**************************************************Post-Canon Merlin fic in which Merlin has an adopted daughter who is mysteriously told to go to Camelot, where she learns many things and realises Arthur must be brought back to life.The OCs in this fic are based on people from the old legends, they are not entirely from my head.
Relationships: Gaius & Merlin (Merlin), Gwaine/Merlin (Merlin), Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin), Gwen/Morgana (Merlin), Lancelot/Merlin (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Morgana (Merlin), Morgana/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Kudos: 25





	1. The Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This is my first ever fic so I'm not quite sure what I'm doing but I love Merlin and I wanted to write a fic about it! Comments are greatly appreciated because I have no idea if people will like this or not.
> 
> :))

The moon hung low behind the trees, casting a silver light on the trunks, a shimmering glow that lit up the eyes of the girl sitting on the ground. She sat, breathing slowly, her head on her knees. She knew she should not be out here, in the woods, but the temptation was irresistible. She was completely silent and still, a faint grin on her lips.

A rabbit surfaced from the thick of the woods. Her smile grew and she muttered a spell, her eyes flashing golden. The rabbit fell, dead.

The girl stood and picked it up, her grin ever larger.

"Stephana!" A voice called through the woods.

She sighed and, with the rabbit in hand, made her way towards home. 

Her father was not happy when she arrived back. He looked at her with those stern eyes, the incriminating crinkles. His hair was greying slightly, flashes of silver woven between the black.

"Stephana," he said, "how many times do I have to say this? You shouldn't sneak out at night."

She smirked slightly, "You're one to talk. All those stories you tell, they never would have happened had you not snuck past Gauis."

Her father said nothing, he very nearly rolled his eyes, but she could tell he was trying not to think about Camelot. He told stories, sure, but he bever dwelt on them for more than a second. The memories were too painful, he claimed. Stephana never quite knew what she was missing, what the hidden story was behind his words, but she knew her father was Merlin, the greatest sorcerer to have ever lived.

What she didn't understand was that he holed himself up in a hovel, somewhere in the woods, far from Camelot, so far Stephana hardly knew the direction it was in. But she knew because he spent so much of his time sitting on a log outside their little hut, staring out into the distance, deep in thought.

She sometimes told herself she was the only reason he still carried on, but she knew it was more than that. The parting words of Kilgarrah, that King Arthur was the Once and Future King, that kept him alive.

Stephana did not believe the dragon was telling the truth, she thought the dragon was merely trying to cheer up a friend. She also thought it was the wrong thing to say to a mourning man, as he could never fully accept Arthur's death with the promise of his return.

She kept her thoughts to herself, though, she didn't want to hurt her father. 

"You should sleep." Merlin looked at her, as if breaking out of deep thought.

She nodded to him and made her way to her room.

While lying in bed, she was consumed by her thoughts. It seemed to her that whispers were coming from all round, the whispers of the past, and the future.  
She closed her eyes, desperately trying to sleep, but the voices were louder.

A scream pierced the whispers.

Stephana sat up, breathing fast. She was no longer in her bed, she was lying in a valley between two mountains. Around her were the bodies of men, red capes flowing from their necks. She knew them by her father's description, Knights of Camelot. Their bodies littered the floor, none of them breathed, and they lay in a pool of blood. Joining them were other knights who she could not identify, but they also, were dead.

She could hear the shouts of men, the tumultuous roar of a battle surrounding her. Her heart hammered in her chest, but she stood and waded through the bodies.

She found herself in the midst of a battle, swords clashing, men dying. Through the crowd she saw a woman, green eyes wild, her black hair a tangle of knots. She was killing wildly, but she lookes up, straight at Stephana.  
"The Battle of Camlan," she said, smiling, "where they won the battle, but we won the war."

Her grin was full of malice, her teeth stained red by the blood of noble knights.

Stephana took a shaky breath, and saw lightning all around her, the enemy was flung off their feet by a bolt of sheer power.  
She looked up, shielding her eyes. And there was her father, an old man but she couldn't miss him anywhere, she remembered his description of this disguise, she remembered this story. The battle of Camlan, where Arthur died.

She turned in circles, depserate to see him, Arthur. She needed to see what he looked like, description was not enough to go by. She looked past the mass of dying men. There, a blond man, tall, strong, fighting with all his might, and he had a lot to give.  
She watched him fight with all the honour of Camelot, and then a young man came behind him, and stabbed through him armour.

She'd heard the tale, the songs even, of King Arthur's death, but they painted it with such honour. There was no honour in this.  
Arthur turned and looked at Mordred, surprise clearly written in his face, and then anger, he raised his sword, and slew the boy.

The battle continued but Stephana could no longer bear to watch as the king lay there, bleeding out, dying, stabbed by what she knew to be a blade forged in a dragon's breath.

"Why are you showing me this?" She shouted to the wind.

There was no reply, only the deepest sense of guilt, and emotional turmoil. Stephana felt tears in her eyes, her heart was heavy.

"Who are you?" She whispered.

Then she woke in a cold sweat.

There was only one thought in her mind, and she knew enough to know it was not her own.

_You must go to Camelot._


	2. The Journey

The sun rose, slowly, but surely. Stephana was still shaken by her dream, and exhausted, having not slept since. She emerged from her room into the little living space, which was cramped with cupboards and bookshelves, shelves with potions and herbs, a table with parchment.  
Her father was sitting, eating breakfast in silence. He smiled when he saw her. 

"Morning... you look like you haven't slept." He smile turned to concern. 

Stephana shook her head and sat, her mind full of thoughts, taking a bowl of porridge and turning it over with her spoon. The dream was still there, constantly replaying in her mind. Why was she shown it? Did she have to go to Camelot? Was Camelot in danger? 

"Everything alright?" 

She snapped out of her reverie and looked at her father, who was observing her with considerable confusion. 

"I had... a dream." She frowned, "at least, it was while I was sleeping, it wasn't so much a dream... I don't know."

Her father frowned, "What do you mean?" 

"I saw... a battle." She looked up at him, thinking of what the black-haired lady from the dream said, "the Battle of Camlan."

Merlin looked away sharply, his lips pursed, pain in his eyes. It seemed to her that he relived it in a matter of seconds.  
"What did you see?" His voice was strangled, as if he was about to cry and he was stuggling to keep his composure. 

"I... I saw Arthur." She looked away and took a breath, "I saw him die." 

Her father stayed silent, but tears filled his eyes, obscurimg his vision as he desperately pushed them back. 

"I'm sorry-" 

"No. No, it's okay. Did you see anything else?" 

She hesitated, "Something... someone told me to go to Camelot." 

He frowned, obviously contemplating the meaning of this. 

"Why? Why ask you to go to Camelot, all is safe there, magic is no longer outlawed." 

Stephana shrugged, "I don't know. But it seemed important. There was an urgency to it like I've never felt. I feel like... something has been set in motion. Something is about to happen." 

Merlin nodded, "It does seem to be tje case. But why tell you?" 

"I asked the same thing, maybe they knew I could get through to you?" 

Her father shook his head, "I won't go to Camelot. I can't-" he took a shaky breath, "I can't go back there. They can't see me like this. Arthur... he told me to never change. But I failed him." 

He closed his eyes. 

"You must go, but I cannot go with you." 

"Father-" 

He cut her off with a pained look, "You must understand, Steph. Please." 

Stephana glanced away, considering the implications of this. 

"It will be dangerous." She said. 

"You remember all I taught you. You'll be safe." 

Stephana nodded and stared down at the table, wringing her hands nervously, "Wilk you be okay." 

Merlin smiled sadly, "I'll survive."  
He stood and clapped his hands.  
"I'll help you pack." 

***************************************************

It wasn't long before Stephana was standing in front of their little hut, bag on her back, the light of the sun just reaching her face through the trees. She and her father stood in comfortable silence for a while, listening to the leaves rustle and the birds sing, and then she turned to go. 

"Steph, be careful Please." 

Her father was trying hard not to show it, but he was scared, this would be the first time he was alone for nearly twenty years, he wasn't used to it anymore.  
Stephana nodded.

"I'll come back to you, you don't need to worry." 

He stepped forward and pulled her into a hug. 

"See you soon." 

There was a ghost of a smile on his lips and then she turned and walked into the woods, disappearing far off in the maze of trees. 

It wasn't long before the adrenaline of leaving home for the first time, on an adventure, wore off. Stephana soon fell into a rhythm of boredom, every tree looked the same, there was barely a path to follow, save the slightly trodden trail she walked on.  
There was no sign of human life here, and there was no way there would be bandits hidden in those trees.  
It wasn't long before the sun wad setting, painting the sky with faded colours that she could just see through the trees.  
Stephana built up a fire in a small, sheltered part of the forest and huddled close to the fire, pulling her coat closer around herself. She closed her eyes and fell into a fitful sleep. 

She woke to darkness, and rain pouring through the trees. Her fire was doused and she sat up, completely drenched. Her hair stuck to her face and she looked decidedly frustrated.  
There was no hope left for sleep, so she stood and looked around her. 

In the dark, the forest looked far more threatening. The shadows were distorted by the silver moonlight, coiling around the trees like shadowy arms. She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself.  
The forest was completely still and silent besides the sway of the branches and Stephana watched them sway until the sun rose. 

The next few days followed in the same trend of monotony until she came into Lot's Kingdom, according to the map her father gave her.  
It was late afternoon, the sun was hanging low over the mountains, when she came across a valley.  
From its appearance, she took it to be Ealdor. 

Walking into the village, she was met with stares from the people around her, as if they had not seen a fresh face in years.  
She approached a lady who was tending to some plants in front of her house. 

"Hello," she said, smiling, "Do you know where I might find Hunith?" 

The woman looked at her strangely, "Why?" 

"My father told me she could look after me. I am journeying to Camelot." 

"Your father," the lady looked closely at her, "who is he?"

"Merlin, Hunith's son."

The woman looked taken aback, she stood up straight and smiled slightly.  
"I am Hunith, come, you must be hungry...?" She stopped, as if asking for something. 

Stephana stared blankly. 

"Your name?" 

"Oh! Stephana." 

Hunith chuckled and ushered Stephana into the small house and sat her down by a table. She herself sat down and regarded Stephana with a mixture of amusement and confusion.

"How is he?"

Stephana looked at her hands, "I don't know what he was like before. He's... despondent. He sits around, thinking. He reads an excessive amount. He doesn't talk much. He's a quiet person."

Hunith sighed, "I expected as much."

They sat in silence for a moment.

"Who's your mother?"

"Pardon?"

"Your... mother?"

Stephana laughed slightly, "I wouldn't know."

Hunith frowned, "Then how?"

"He found me, wandering in the woods, nothing but skin and bones, when I was just old enough to walk."

Hunith's eyes widened.

"I don't remember anything, I only remember my older years, learning magic and helping my father find food and herbs for non-existent remedies. I guess he was trying to get over... what happened, but he only buried himself in his misery."

Hunith shook her head, "Why are you here, Stephana?"

Stephana blinked, "I have to go to Camelot."

"Why? And why didn't Merlin come with you?"

"I... he refused to come."

Hunith frowned but didn't say any more.  
"You must be tired. Here," she stood and directed Stephana to a room, "You can sleep here."

Stephana smiled, "Thank you."

She entered the room and looked around. It was tidy, a small, cramped room, but tidy nontheless. There were shelves of nameless books, and a chest full of clothes. Hunith stood watching in the doorway.

"It was your father's old room," she said, "make yourself comfortable."

Stephana did just that. She lay down on the bed, grateful for a roof over her head. She slept soundly that night, knowing she would reach Camelot very soon.

***************************************************

The next morning Stephana woke to the sound of birds singing, and the noises of a busy village, sellers shouting their wares, children playing, some fighting. She had never been in a village before, she had barely left their little house in the woods, so the thunderous sounds of life surprised Stephana.

She emerged from the room to find Hunith scrubbing clothes down by the back door. She watched, intrigued. Hunith looked up and noticed Stephana watching. She smiled.

"Good morning," she said.

Stephana smiled back, "Morning."

Hunith put the shirt she was scrubbing down on the table and sighed.

"I guess you'll be leaving soon?"

Stephana nodded, "Thank you for letting me stay the night."

Hunith shook her head, "It really is no problem. It's good to hear Merlin is still alive." She stared into the distance wistfully, "you know the way to go?"

Stephana nodded again, "It's not far, apparently. Only a couple more days."

Hunith murmured her assent and looked around the room, as if searching for something. She walked over to the window and picked up a bag that lay on the windowsill. She held it out to Stephana.

"Here, some food for your journey."

Stephana was shocked, "You didn't need to!"

Hunith insisted, "Take it, Stephana, hunting is tiresome work."

Stephana took the bag and placed it in her pack. She stood awkwardly, not knowing what to say.

"I guess... I'll be going."

Hunith nodded. "Good luck, Stephana. I hope you find what you're looking for."

Stephana grinned, and left the house, squinting at the morning sun. She walked through Ealdor, observing the villagers and their daily activities. It truly was fascinating to see, having lived in perpetual isolation for so long, but she knew she had to continue her journey, she was not sure if the haste was necessary, but she acted with haste nontheless.

She left the village, looking back over her shoulder wistfully, and continued her journey to Camelot.

***************************************************

She was deep in the forest when the raiders came. They flowed over the hills on either side of the path she was on, raising their swords with a battle cry. She had no sword to defend herself, but took out a small knife her father had given her many years before. They surrounded her, not striking because they viewed her as defenceless. They glanced at each other and jeered.  
One emerged from the crowd, a tall man with a scar running down the side of his face, disfiguring his dark brown eyes. He looked at her and smiled, his eyes glinting with evil intent.

" 'Ello little lady," his grin widened, "what're you doing all alone in the woods?"

Stephana stared him down, holding out her knife with shaking hands. The man took a step forward and grabbed her wrist, twisting it so she dropped the knife. She cried out.

"You won't be needing that now," he said.

Stephana glared at him, "If I were you, I would walk away."

The man let out a laugh, "Walk away? What are you going to do?"

Stephana smiled slightly, "This."

She thrust out her hands, her eyes flashing golden, and the man flew through the air, crashing into the circle of raiders and knocking them over. There was a moment of shocked silence and then Stephana threw back the line of raiders and ran forward. She didn't stop running until she was sure they were gone.

The next couple of days followed without any disturbing events and soon Stephana found herself walking on a well-trodden path. She came over a hill and there it was. Nestled in the trees, it's great castle towering over the treetops, was her destination. She smiled. 

Camelot.


	3. Stephana Meets Gauis

Camelot was so much more than could be described in words, her father's stories did not amount to the beautiful city Stephana saw before her. She walked through the gates, mouth hanging open in awe. The lower town was full to the brim with people idling at market stalls, chatting to one another, children running through the maze of adults. Each salesperson was screaming their wares, their voices almost completely engulfed by the constant undertone of chatter.

Stephana walked through the market, staring around herself in wonder. To one side of the street, Stephana saw a crowd gathered around a man. He held a torch in one hand and his other hand was splayed out beside it. He curled his fingers and the flame contorted, molding itself into the shape of a Great Dragon. The crowd cheered and Stephana smiled.

Magic.

All around her, Stephana began to see people performing small acts of magic, the lighting of a furnace with a muttered spell or playfully tripping someone up with a glance. A group of teens rushed past holding books under their arms, books about magic. They were chatting and laughing and making a mini tornado destroy one poor girl's hair. One old man who was obviously exhausted put down the pot he was washing and sat down, the pot began to float and wash itself.

Stephana was shocked at the amount of people so readily trusting magic, even though it had been legalised nearly twenty years before, some people still had their superstitions due to Uther's ban, but most of these people were activly using it, simple magic was easy to teach after all. However, Stephana saw no displays of poweful magic, just little party tricks to help with work or tease friends.

But her father had accomplished his goal. 

Magic was accepted in Camelot once more.

The realisation that her father's actions had amounted to something shocked Stephana, she had never quite believed one person could have so much impact on the world, but what she saw contradicted that belief. Her father's destiny was real, and as far as Stephana was concerned, it wasn't finished. Arthur had never become the greatest King in all of Albion, the lands were not yet united, and Stephana believed she was sent to Camelot to somehow set that in motion, because her father was too scared to do it himself.  
She'd heard his stories, he never fully harnessed his true powers because he always had to keep it hidden, and now he'd spent twenty years wasting away, not learning anything new, barely even taking care of his basic needs. Something needed to change, the prophecy had to be fulfilled.

Stephana walked into the courtyard of the palace, and stared at the steps leading up to the doors.  
She approached one of the knights in red armour who stood guard.

"Excuse me, do you know where I could find Gauis?"

The guard glanced at her and pointed her in the direction of a door that led to some winding stairs. She clambered up the stairs, passing a sign that read 'Court Physician'. She found herself in a small room with a table covered in medicines and potions and books. The room had bookcases on every wall and a door leading to what must have been her father's old room. Working at the table was an old man, far older than Stephana expected, but Merlin's description would be outdated.  
She cleared her throat and the man looked up.

"Hello," she said, "Are you Gauis, the Court Physician?"

He nodded and squinted at her, "And you are?"

"I'm Stephana, Merlin's daughter."

There was a moment of silence and then Gauis let out a hearty laugh.

"Merlin's... daughter?"

Stephana nodded, "Adopted, of course."

"Ah, yes of course. So he's alive then?"

Stephana frowned, "You hardly seem surprised."

"I never thought he was dead. He could never be that stupid. I knew he would... blame himself. I trust he's well?"

"As well as one can be."

Gauis grunted with dissatisfaction, "So, what are you here for? You must have a come a long way," he gestured to a seat, "please, sit down."

Stephana sat at the table and restlessly tapped her nails against the wood, "I had a dream. I dreamed of Arthur's death. And then a voice told me to go to Camelot."

Gauis frowned and sat down as well.

"It did not say why?"

Stephana shook her head, "No, but there was an intense sense of urgency behind it, it felt very real."

Gauis nodded, "You were right to come here, this dream is no coincidence. The Queen herself came to me, distressed, saying she saw Arthur, standing in the centre of the courtyard of some ancient castle. He looked as if he was preparing for a battle. Then a voice told her, much like it told you, to find Merlin."

"Merlin? How would she know where he is?"

"She doesn't, so it's a good thing you're here, you can help her find him."

Stephana grimaced, "I... I don't think he wants to be found."

Gauis nodded, "Of course he doesn't, and he will be angry with you, for a time. But something is fixing to happen Stephana. I feel you have a part to play as much as your father does."

Stephana very nearly laughed, "Me? I wouldn't imagine so. I can't even hold a sword."

"Who says you need to hold a sword?"

"Well... we'll be fighting something."

"Merlin taught you magic, I presume?"

Stephana nodded.

"Then why depend on a sword? You have been taught by the most powerful sorcerer on the face of the earth, I am sure you know more than you think."

Stephana stared blankly in disbelief. Gauis chuckled to himself, stood and clapped his hands together.

"Now don't just stare, we must speak with the Queen."

Stephana's eyes widened, but she stood and followed Gauis out of the place where her father spent most of his life.


	4. The Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit rushed in terms of pace, sorry about that, but I just wanted to get the story moving :)

The Queen sat in her throne, looking out over the large hall. It stretched out before her, seemingly endless, yet she was at the end. She sat straight, and held herself with a deep sense of honour. She was very regal and, Stephana noted, very beautiful.  
There were two knights standing either side of her, Stephana guessed they were two of the knights of the round table, but she did not know for sure, having never seen them.

Gauis walked swiftly up to the Queen and bowed his head. Stephana followed suit, thought quite uncertainly as she had never been in a court before.  
The Queen smiled at Gauis.

"Gauis, what brings you here?"

"My lady, this," Gauis gestured to Stephana, "is Stephana. Merlin's daughter."

Queen Guinevere's eyebrows shot up and the two guards beside her staggered back slightly in shock. Gauis laughed.

"She is his adopted daughter."

The Queen let out a laugh, "It's still... surprising," she looked at Stephana, "why are you here, my dear?"

"I am here because of a dream I had, my lady. It told me to come to Camelot."

The Queen instantly became more serious, her grip on the arms of the throne tightened, and she pursed her lips.

"I, too had a dream, Stephana."

Stephana nodded.

"There must be some importance to this." The Queen glanced at the knight to her left, who was tall and very large. He nodded.

The Queen sighed slightly, raised her hand to her temple as if distressed. She looked up, her eyes shiny with the beginning of tears.

"How is Merlin? How well does he cope?"

Stephana shook her head, "I don't know what he was like before, my lady, I cannot comment on whether he is better or worse. All I know is it is constantly on his mind, and he does nothing all day and night because of it."

The Queen nodded, a great sadness coming about her eyes.

"I expected as much. There was none closer to Arthur than he was. Not even me."

Stephana frowned slightly, her father had never mentioned that, but she did not comment.

"My lady," Stephana said, "Gauis informed me that your dream instructed you to find my father."

The Queen nodded, "That is correct, yes."

"I-" Stephana hesitated, "-I am slightly... wary. He certainly does not want to be found, my lady."

"I understand, but he will also realise the importance of this." The Queen raised her head, "My dream did not just say to find Merlin, or Emrys as he was called, it said that Albion's greatest time of need was at hand. I know not what the danger is... but the dream said that..."

The Queen took a deep breath.

"The dream said that Arthur must rise again, and Emrys must make him rise."

There was a moment of silence and then the Queen turned to the knight to her left.

"Percival, ready the horses, I intend to ride with Stephana and a few men to find Merlin, by sunrise."

The knight, Sir Percival, nodded and left the room.

"Leon," she referred to the knight with curly hair to her right, Stephana now recognised him from her father's description, "Help Stephana plan the route."

Sir Leon nodded, "Stephana, you will have to tell me where you came from. How long did it take you to get here?"

"About a week on foot, I came from the east, I passed through Ealdor. From there it is to the Forest of Geancy. That is where my father stays."

"That is not too long a journey with horses, maybr a few days."

The Queen nodded, "We leave in the morning. I shall leave my son, Lohot, in charge."

It was Stephana's turn to be surprised. The Queen had a son? An heir to the throne of Camelot? How was this possible? No one noted Stephana's surprise, and Gauis ushered her out of the room.

***************************************************

Stephana ate her dinner in silence, deep in thought about how her father would receive her, and this mystery Prince of Camelot. Gauis watched her with interest.

"You wish to know who Prince Lohot is?" He asked.

Stephana looked up, slightly surprised, but nodded.

"He is the son of Prince Arthur, you needn't worry. After the Battle of Camlan, the Queen found herself to be pregnant, it was a difficult pregnancy, with her grief, and she very nearly lost the child, but he is here. He came far too early, a sickly baby, but he is all she has left of Arthur, and so he survived."

Gauis looked wistful, as if remembering very different times.

"I myself did as much as I could to help, having, for all I knew, lost my own son, though he would never admit he is. Your father was as close to a child I got." He had tears in his eyes.

"You'll see him again, we will bring him to Camelot."

Gauis nodded, a smile playing on his lips, "I both dread and look forward to it. Now get some sleep Stephana, you've got to journey once again tomorrow."

***************************************************

The party that left was a grand one. A team of horses, the grandest animals Stephana had ever seen, though they were terrifying to control, with the esteemed Knights of Camelot on their backs. The Queen rode in simple trousers, with a sword at her side. She almost looked like one of the people in the streets, but she held herself like royalty.

Stephana felt vastly out of place as they raced out of Camelot's gates, travelling with haste thought there was no danger in sight. Though she felt far safer than she had when travelling on her own. This journey was far less perilous, Stephana felt more like she was intruding on a family holiday.  
The knights joked and bantered while riding, constantly ribbing each other and playfully arguing. Stephana smiled silently from the back, slightly uncomfortable with the familiarity, but finding it very enjoyable to watch.

They rode for days upon days, and barely stopped in Ealdor for more than a second. It wasn't long before they reached the little hut in the woods where she and her father lived.  
When they got there, Stephana dismounted her horse, her heart in her mouth as she walked up to the door. She found her father sitting at the table, staring into space. He looked up and saw her, and his eyes lit up.

"Stephana! You're back so soon!" He frowned, "You're back very soon..."

Stephana grimaced, "There are people here to see you."

Her father's face fell, he stood from the table and hesitantly walked outside to where the knights and the Queen were waiting. They all dismounted and the knights greeted Merlin as if he had never left, hugging him and laughing. Stephana watched in surprise as she saw her father laugh along, there was a smile on his face.  
The Queen smiled at Merlin.

"Merlin. We've missed you."

Merlin's smile disappeared, "I've been a fool to stay away for so long, Gwen."

She shook her head, "It was only natural, Merlin, you had to take your time. But now is the time to return to Camelot."

Merlin almost looked scared, "What's happened? "

Gwen looked down slightly, "It's not what has happened, it is what's going to happen. You have to join us in returning to Camelot."

Merlin nodded, "I didn't realise how much I missed you all until I saw you."

Sir Percival slapped him on the shoulder, "We feel the same way, old friend."

The Queen looked him in the eyes, "So you will join us?"

Merlin smiled, though his eyes held a multitude of pain and memories, "I will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter should be coming soon since it's the weekend for me now :)


	5. Dragons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang gets attacked on the way home, but not by your regular attacker

Merlin felt as if he had made the wrong decision, he didn't want to go back to Camelot. He hadn't even thought before agreeing, he had been far too caught up in the joy of seeing his old friends, it had seemed to him that he was in a dream, that no matter what he said it would have no consequences. And now look at you, he thought, clotpole. 

They had brought an extra horse with them, as if they had never even considered him declining. And would you have declined? Do you really think you could say no to the Knights of Camelot? Your only friends in the world? Merlin knew this to be true, he would have ended up going, either way. 

He glanced at Stephana as they rode, wondering at how grown up she looked, how certain of herself, though she held herself slightly awkwardly as they rode, not quite knowing where she fit in with this band of knights. He was angry at her, of course, for telling them where he was. He knew, though, that she had the best intentions at heart. She just wanted him to be happier, though going back to Camelot... 

The closer to Camelot they got, the more Merlin was filled with dread. He had not been back since... Since Arthur... 

Merlin closed his eyes and let the swaying of the horse distract him from his rushing thoughts. The group was uncomfortably silent, undoubtedly affected by his turbulent mood, they were used to the old Merlin, quick with his quips, always chattering. But that Merlin was dead. 

The trees rushed past them, and Merlin's fear grew. Camelot, where Arthur would be... But he was not. The abscence of him would hang in the air, Merlin would expect him to walk round the corner, to shout his name, but no shout would come. 

Gwen looked back, concern knitting her brows together. 

"Merlin..." She bit her lip, "You'll be fine. You will feel better, but you need to face Camelot." 

Merlin looked into her eyes, wary of all the knights watching him with matching worried expressions. 

"I don't want to feel better," his tone was bitter, "How can I? It was my fault." 

That was mett with silence, the silence of pity, because they hadn't been there, so they could not disagree. For all they knew, he could have killed Arthur himself, to put him out of his misery. He might as well have, it was his fault-

His thoughts were scattered by the sound of rushing wind. He frowned. It sounded like... The beating of wings. 

"Everyone get down!" He screamed, flinging himself off his horse and cowering on the ground. 

A stream of flames narrowly missed his head and his horse squealed, running madly, in flames. He looked around to see if everyone else had made it down safely. 

Steph? He called, too afraid to shout. 

I'm okay! Came the reply. 

He breathed a sigh of relief and stood shakily. The roof of the trees was broken and a magnificent, emerald green dragon landed gracefully in the dirt. It's claws curled into the earth, and Merlin could have sworn it was grinning maliciously at him. A dragon? Merlin shook his head, confused. They were all dead apart from Aithusa, and perhaps the old man Kilgarrah, but he couldn't be too certain about that. The dragon snorted and pawed at the ground as everyone else stood up beside Merlin. 

The dragon was large, too large to be an adolescent, and it held the aura of something that had been alive for far too many years. 

"Who are you?" Merlin shouted up at the creature. 

"Kalliergo," the dragon sneered, "I have waited many years to meet you, Emrys." 

Merlin narrowed his eyes, the dragon's name quite simply meant 'grow', a confusing name for a dragon, of course they would grow. 

"Why do you search for me dragon?" 

"I do not search, little warlock, I merely wait, because I know the day I meet you, is the day the Dragons will rise again." 

Merlin was very aware of the knights keeping their tight circle around him, protective, he felt safe, properly, for the first time in years. But the dragon's words threw him off guard. 

"The... Dragons will rise?" 

Kalliergo chuckled, "Such powerful beings cannot stay asleep for much longer, dear Emrys. And they will want their revenge." The dragon paused, "As I do." 

Merlin felt a sense of dread and suddenly the dragon was rising up on its rear legs, beating its powerful wings in their direction, sending them all into the air. The dragon took a graceful step forward and loomed over the cowering group of humans. Merlin's heart was in his throat, he was breathing fast, terrified. 

He turned his head and glanced at Stephana, who was pale and sweating, she almost looked as if she would pass out. Gwen was holding her hand. 

The dragon raised its claws, smiling, and dug them into the dirt around Stephana. 

"No!" Merlin cried, standing, trying to think of a spell to cast, but his mind was empty. 

**Drákos, stamatíste aftó** (Dragon, stop this) 

But the dragon ignored his plea, scooping Stephana up in his claws. The knights were standing, rushing towards him, swords drawn, but they could not risk swinging at those magnificent claws because Stephana lay, unconscious due to fright, limp. 

And so they watched, helplessly, as the dragon took off into the sky, its laughter echoing behind it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, feedback is always appreciated :)


	6. The Fear of Flying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stephana has been captured by a dragon and Merlin is distraught, of course.
> 
> Warning: suicidal thoughts

Stephana slowly opened her eyes, disorientated and confused, then suddenly came to her senses. The first thing she noticed was that she was flying. The wind was strong, and freezing cold, blasting against her face and ripping into her skin, chilling her to the bone. The ground was so far below her, she could scarcely make out the trees, everything blurred into one, and clouds hung over the land, blocking it from her sight. Her heart was thumping in her chest, adrenaline coursing through her veins.

Then she looked at the dragon.

Its green scales were glimmering in the sunlight, its claws digging into her ribs, making it hard to breathe, talk, think. Its wings were steadily beating against the air, keeping them at this steady, horrifying height. Stephana closed her eyes, taking deep breaths, trying not to panic. She couldn't use magic, she would fall to her death. She very well couldn't just jump out of the monster's claws, that would be another certain way to die. But where was it taking her?

 _Am I already dead?_ _What if I'm already dead?_ She was panicking, tears filling her eyes, threatening to spill over and fall like raindrops, very nearly freezing on her cheeks. _I am going to die._ Her breathing was out of control now, and she was too high up to take in oxygen-rich air, she felt faint, sick to the stomach. And still the dragon did not acknowledge her existence.

**_Your thoughts are thunderously loud._ **

Stephana forgot to breathe. Her mind felt shattered in tiny pieces, dirty, contaminated. She forgot how to blink, how to-

_**Calm down.** _

She calmed down, closing her eyes. The dragon's presence hung in her mind, looming in the recesses of her thoughts. She did not know how to respond to it.

_**You are not going to die. You are merely the bait.** _

The dragon bared its teeth and let out a crackly laugh. Stephana felt trapped in her own mind, tiny, inconsequential, before the raw power of this beast. For all the magic Merlin had taught her, she would never be the most powerful sorcerer to have walked the earth, that was his job.

_**Emrys. Show me Emrys.** _

Stephana tried, she really did, to hold back the dragon from her memories, but he ripped them out of her grasp. He rifled through her brain, discarding thoughts and dreams like forgotten papers hidden in a drawer. And he unearthed memories of her father.

Memories of her father teaching her how to walk, how to talk, swim, hunt. How to do magic.

She saw herself utter her first spell, through the hazy lenses of memory, she saw the flames, the hours spent poring over books. She saw her father sitting in an empty clearing in the forest, while she hid from sight, staring into the depths of the trees, tears streaming down his face, his shoulders slumped, shaking. She saw herself look on in confusion as her father screamed at the air, sending out a shockwave that rammed into the trees, nearly crushing her. The dragon continued through, greedily consuming every memory she had of him.

And just like that, the dragon was gone.

A pressure was lifted off her mind, and she nearly passed out. She became aware of her own body again, soaring through the air in the claws of a dragon.

And then she felt... something. A presence in her mind, a poignant emotion: fear, but also determination. It brought with it the same pressure as Kalliergo's presence, a dragon. The dragon did not speak. It enveloped her mind with warmth, comfort, peace. 

And just like that; it was gone.

***************************************************

Merlin did not speak, he did not look at the others. His face betrayed no emotion. He was scarily still on the back of his horse, almost as if he were floating, while the horse rocked beneath him. His silence made the others uncomfortable. They had not really known Stephana for very long, they felt no grief or worry, only pity for Merlin. And Merlin... well, he too felt pity.

He was drowning in his own anguish and guilt, his fears and worries. His thoughts were like a whirlwind, swirling around in his brain, screaming to be let out, tearing at the walls of his mind. He thought about Stephana, left at the mercy of a dragon. He thought about how useless he was, how he was not really a powerful sorcerer, how he could never save Albion from this great threat, these dragons. But most of all, he thought about Arthur. When did he not? Arthur was always on his mind, a constant, incriminating voice in the back of his mind.

It whispered to him: _You failed, you're useless. You aren't even powerful, you're nothing but a servant, a little hermit who lives in the woods. You failed your own destiny. You couldn't save Arthur, how could you save Stephana. You're useless. You might as well die._

His thoughts battered against him, sending his mind reeling. Arthur's name repeated again and again, like a heartbeat, _Arthur._

Arthur was his world, the reason he breathed. And near the end, Arthur was the only reason Merlin used magic, the only reason he continued. He had lost sight of the bigger goal: legalising magic; but by that point it didn't matter to him, all that mattered to him was Arthur. _Arthur._ And then, Arthur was in his arms, pale, his breathing ragged, his blood pouring onto Merlin's shirt. It had felt, Merlin, as if the world was ending, because it was. Arthur had looked up at him, with those blue eyes, and slowly the light had faded and Merlin was shaking him, Arthur, _Arthur, ARTHUR._ But this time, Merlin couldn't save him. He was useless, powerless. He had died, too, that day. 

He couldn't go back to Camelot, not after that, not after he had failed. He couldn't face Gaius or Gwen, their pitying expressions. He couldn't face Gwaine, though he later learned of his death, and again held himself responsible.

Merlin distanced himself from people, because he always caused them harm. And, once again, he had hurt someone. Stephana, his daughter, the one thing keeping him alive, anchoring him to earth. His little sunflower, pointing him to the sun. And she was gone, all because of him. They had taken her for bait, he knew that. But that wouldn't stop him from trying to get her back.

However, Gwen insisted they return to Camelot, where they could gather supplies for the journey ahead. 

Camelot. Arthur. Camelot without Arthur. Merlin couldn't stand it.

But they travelled on.

***************************************************

They reached Camelot after another half a day's ride. Merlin heart rose into his throat when he saw it, he felt as if he were returning home. They entered the gates and Merlin noted the changes, though they were scarce. More people milled around the market, unfamiliar faces on every side. And there was magic, magic oozing out of every crack and crevice in the city walls. The air was thick with it. Small spells, defence spells warding off enemies, cleaning spells, tricks being played, there was just so much _magic_.

This feeling was so foreign to Merlin, yet it brought a faint smile to his lips. Arthur had married the right person, no matter how much the occasion had broken Merlin's heart. Queen Guinevere was gracious and true. Magic reigned in Camelot.

They left the horses in the stables and the knights wandered off to the barracks. Merlin stood, looking lost, staring around himself with fear and wonder.

"Merlin," Gwen walked to him, concern written all over her face, "I am so sorry."

Merlin shook his head, "It's not your fault, Gwen. It's mine."

Her face fell, "I thought you would say that."

"Is it not?"

Gwen looked away, grimacing.

"Am I not meant to be the most powerful sorcerer to have ever walked the earth? The Last Dragonlord? And I can't even control a dragon. It didn't even think to stop! How is it not my fault Gwen? Tell me!" 

His face was writhing with anger, an anger Gwen had never seen.

"Merlin..."

He turned, and walked away from her.

"Merlin!"

He did not look back.

**_***************************************************_ **

Merlin found himself walking to Gaius' quarters. He hadn't thought of doing it, his feet had betrayed him, bringing him home.

Merlin found the room empty, though filled with its usual clutter of papers and potions. He looked around and took a breath, then nearly burst into tears. It was exactly the same as when he had left it. 

He walked to his room and stood in the doorway, looking in. The bed was neatly made, the light from the window painting the room a colourful golden. The room was tidy, clean, but not used. No one lived here. No had replaced him. 

The sheets of the bed were newly washed, but his wardrobe was still filled with his clothes. The same shirts and neckerchiefs he would wear each and every day. He had not worn a neckerchief for years, it reminded him of Arthur. 

He could not do anything, he merely stared dumbly at the room, deep in thought, remembering. The memories were bittersweet, mornings woken by Arthur's call, nights spent sneaking through the city, stopping threats. He remembered Morgana, before she had turned. She had the potential for good, so much potential. But that blasted dragon had thrown it all away. Merlin knew he should ever had listened to it, he should have followed his heart, that would have saved Arthur. Why had he been so hard on Mordred? Why, why, why?

All his past doubts came rushing back to him at once. He staggered back, hit by the weight of concerns he had pushed back, ignored for too many years. He turned, and there stood Gaius.

"Merlin."

Gaius was smiling, but his eyes were filled with pity. The pity Merlin had spent years avoiding.

"Hi." He said weakly.

Gaius didn't say anything, he didn't try to comfort Merlin, try to tell him it wasn't his fault, that he should be happy he survived, he didn't say any of the things Merlin had expected him to say. He just walked to Merlin, and wrapped him up in his arms. 

It was the first time Merlin had felt safe for fifteen years.

All his emotions burst out in that moment, bubbling over. Suddenly, tears were streaming down his face and he was sobbing into Gaius' shoulder. He felt like a child again, gripping at his mother's sleeves, gasping for breath between each sob. And still Gaius did not speak, he didn't need to, him being there was enough.

Merlin let out years of hurt, grief, guilt, until his eyes were swollen and his throat raw, and then he began to talk.

He told Gaius, with a croaking tone, how Arthur had died in his arms, how he had travelled for months, wandering like a hermit across Albion. He had fought bandits, traders, people who came hunting for Emrys, seeking revenge for Morgana's death. And he had started travelling back to Camelot, when he stumbled across a clearing in the forest. In the centre: a child. He told Gaius how he had taken that child in, much like he had taken Merlin in, and nursed it into health, erasing all the harm done, how he had raised the child, and how she had grown, how she had been his only source of life, of hope. And how she had decided to venture to Camelot, and how he had let her be captured.

Gaius took Merlin by the shoulders and held him at arm's length, staring into his eyes.

"Merlin," he said, "I know you feel guilty. But wallowing in your guilt will not save Stephana."

Merlin's face crumpled, but he knew these words held truth.

He raised his shoulders, and nodded.

"You're right, Gaius, you always are."

Merlin wiped his eyes and smiled shakily.

"We _will_ save Stephana."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Hopefully there will be another chapter soon but I don't know as I'm still going to school (no quarantine... yet)
> 
> hope you enjoyed  
> :)


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